My kids (aged 6 and 3) have unquestionably been my life’s greatest teacher. Children wake with a natural curiosity and awe for each day, with open hearts to endless possibilities. They aren’t beholden to time, afraid to ask the hard questions or state the brutally honest truths.
When someone hurts their feelings, they express their emotions and move on. They have yet to fall victim to the underbelly of social media and they choose their friends the old fashion way — mutual interests. Put simply, unlike adults, they have yet to be tainted by the woes of the world. There’s much to be learned by kids if we would slow down enough to observe. As such, here are five lessons my kids have taught me about leadership:
- Maintain an incessant desire for learning.
More than anyone, kids realize that some of the best learning doesn’t take place in a classroom. They have a natural inquisitiveness to make sense of things and find out precisely how they work. Observation, exploration, listening, creating and experimenting are loud and proud natural instincts that, intentionally or not, we adults tend to silent over time. Great leaders have a constant thirst for curiosity and recognize that everyday is an opportunity to open the mind to accepting new information from all sorts of places.
- Make time for play.
In the daily bustle of lunch-packing, car-line-dropping, laundry-folding and all the other endless responsibilities it takes to nurture a small human, we must remember that at the end of the day it is our job not only to love them, but to enjoy them. My family’s most memorable moments are when we are all hovered around a board game or shrieking atop the hills of a roller coaster. Leisure and recreation harvests rejuvenation and connectedness. Amid the never-ending meetings, lists and decisions, it’s easy to lose sight of why we do what we do, but leading from a place of enjoyment and fun cultivates a culture of creativity and a tight knit team. Great leaders know that promoting a sense of play in day-to-day work increases engagement and promotes inspiration.
- Forever ask “why.”
If ever you’ve been road-tripping with a child for any amount of time, then you are all too aware that the only thing more frequent than bathroom breaks is answering an endless number of questions with a verbal baton of “why this, why that.” Great leaders understand when they should consider an alternative point of view to gain perspective, and that it’s fine to concede “I don’t know,” when they don’t have an answer — or more importantly, don’t make one up. Great leaders know that inquisitiveness and humility nurture confidence and loyalty.
- Say “please” and “thank you.”
Respect is a two-way street, even with a 6-year-old. The “because I’m the parent” mentality usually doesn’t get anyone to the desired end-result. When one of my kids demands animal crackers, for example, not only do we banter back and forth about the appropriate way to ask for something, but they are also likely to receive less from me than they would have if I felt they did so in a respectful manner to begin with. Kindness begets kindness. Doing the right thing the first time not only minimizes disagreement, but likely elicits better reward. Great leaders know that “please” and “thank you” aren’t just words for elementary school lesson plans but displays of respect and compassion.
- Always do your chores.
I presented a chart to my son that displayed his newly created chore list, and at the bottom was an image of a dollar sign which was the agreed-upon reward for a week’s worth of complete tasks. This proposed dollar payment was met with an immediate counterattack attached to a counterproposal (the art of negotiation). Making the bed and putting away dishes is not glamorous work, to be sure, but neither are annual budget reviews or difficult performance discussions. However, if the foundational work doesn’t get done, everything else will quickly become a mess. Great leaders know that completing their core responsibilities helps them best take care of themselves, of others and of initiatives.
No one can argue that with age comes experience, but it also brings stubbornness and intellectual braggarts. Angela Swindt wrote that, “While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.” We are never too old to seek knowledge and fun, or to be curious, kind and responsible…just like kids.
