Mentorship is one of the oldest forms of learning, dating as far back as Ancient Greece. It has regained popularity over the past few decades with the rise of social learning theory, which focuses on humans’ natural inclination toward social behavior and learning from one another. Mentoring helps business professionals develop their problem-solving and decision-making skills, build confidence and help grow their professional networking circles. Mentoring is such a powerful career development tool, in fact, that most executives claim it is one of the most critical drivers of their success.
As a learning leader who has been a mentor and mentee many times over, I can unequivocally say: No two mentor relationships are the same. But what is the same, or at least similar, is how to get started with a mentor relationship. There are three questions that a prospective mentee (and anyone who is guiding them) at the heart of getting started with mentorship: What? Who? How?
What?
What skills or competencies does the mentee want to develop? Answering this first helps identify goals and a purpose for mentoring, so the mentee can set clear and specific objectives to share with the mentor. For mentoring to be successful, the mentee must want to improve in any areas identified for development. Development targets must also be meaningful to the mentee. Ultimately, the mentee needs to see how improving in those areas makes a difference in both their current performance and career prospects.
While mentees often self-identify development opportunities, the “what” can be answered in other ways. Asking others, especially the people the mentee works for or with, can help a new mentee identify any blind spots. It is important the mentee trusts and respects those being asked, and that the mentee asks for this feedback directly and not through other people. This will allow the mentee to ask any clarifying questions and request specific examples to better understand the development opportunity. Asking others also builds accountability into the mentorship process: others are now aware that the mentee is focused on self-improvement and growth.
Finally, reflecting on any skills and competencies the mentee admires in others is another method to identify development opportunities. Perhaps it is a skill the mentee already has but wants to develop further, or it may be a competency which the mentee is completely lacking. Looking to others’ capabilities is a great way to identify potential opportunities for growth in ourselves.
Who?
Who is best suited to assist the mentee with their identified skill gap or personal development? This question should consider both the mentor’s skills to address the mentee’s stated goals as well as the existing relationship between the mentee and potential mentors. The mentor should be someone who clearly and consistently demonstrates advanced skills and high competency in the areas the mentee wishes to develop. Yet even more important than competency in the skill itself, the mentor should not be naturally talented but should have worked to develop and even master the skill. While no two development journeys will take the same route, the mentor will have experienced similar challenges and obstacles that the mentee is likely to face.
The other critical factor in selecting a mentor is mutual respect between the mentee and mentor. It is not enough that the mentee respects and admires his mentor; the mentor must truly believe in the mentee and respect the mentee for the skills he already possesses. The mentor must be aspirational, perhaps even a little intimidating in terms of skill and accomplishment, to the mentee. A small dose of intimidation creates initial dynamic tension, which prompts the mentee to set a high bar for their own development. It will feel like a stretch but attainable because of the mutual respect in the mentorship.
How?
How to determine the timing, cadence and type of mentorship connections. There is no one-size-fits-all formula for these logistics; it will look different for every mentoring relationship. Timing might be on a set schedule or sporadic. It might be more frequent and planned at first (bi-weekly or monthly) and become less frequent over time. It can be in-person, on the phone or on Zoom. It might be longer meetings over lunch, or shorter connections when something comes up. The key is for the mentor and mentee to put together a plan that works for both, for which the mentee then owns the set-up and adapt it over time based on the mentorship needs.
Ultimately, mentoring relationships are mutually beneficial: The mentee develops stronger skills, while the mentor gets to share knowledge and experiences. Often, I have heard mentees say (and I have said this myself as a mentee) that they know their mentor is very busy and they feel bad for taking too much time away from more important responsibilities. However, if the “What” and “Who” questions have been answered thoughtfully, the mentee will not be a burden to the mentor. Part of the “How” is also establishing shared goals of the mentorship with boundaries that optimize the development of both the mentee and mentor.
Scalable mentorship practices
These three questions are certainly helpful for individuals seeking development through mentorship; they are equally usable for L&D leaders who are interested in standing up more scalable mentorship opportunities. One of our employee resource groups recently began offering a formalized mentorship program using this precise three-question methodology. Through a simple online platform, participants select to be a mentor or mentee, share their areas of strength (mentors) and areas of development (mentees), request specific mentor qualities and are subsequently paired according to their criteria. From there, mentors and mentees are responsible for the mentorship agreement on topics, goals, and timing.
With only three questions and so much to gain on both sides of a mentorship, there is only one more question to ask: Why not get started today?
