Lie (noun): an assertion of something known or believed by the speaker or writer to be untrue with intent to deceive. (Merriam-Webster)
I once worked with a dishonest leader. She took credit for her people’s work, she promoted her favorites, she wasn’t honest about the work her team did and why they did it, and she talked about people behind their backs. Strangely, she was also frustrated that she had an unhappy team.
It is weird to me that I see such leadership behavior more often than I would’ve thought. I think a contributing factor is that we don’t properly define the behavior the aforementioned leader engaged in. My opening line described it as “dishonest.” And while that is true, the term downplays what we are really talking about. It softens the edges of the behavior to help it resemble something less damaging than it actually is.
In reality, the behavior I described would better be termed lying. Lying evokes a much more visceral reaction than “being dishonest.” We are much less likely to tolerate lying than we are the vagueness of dishonesty. If we properly reframe being dishonest to call it what it actually is — lying — the word becomes more commensurate with the damage the behavior causes.
For example, we can rationalize that trying to sell unimportant work to your employees as something important and wonderful is good for morale and engagement. We can think that while it is dishonest, it is somehow “good dishonestly.” But it is not. It is just a lie.
Nothing good comes from a lie. Lies are the brick and mortar of evil in the world. They are the foundation from which most evil is instantiated. Lies that we tell others, lies that we tell ourselves; for every lie told, even if you cannot perceive it, and no matter the intent, the world is damaged in some way. The very reason lies exist is, ultimately, to cause harm. They are the loose change cast upon the ground by the devil, so to speak. And every time a coin is used, the devil grins.
It is easy to lie. It is often convenient to lie. It can seem advantageous to lie. If a lie can get us what we want, or protect what we have, a lie can be seductively easy. And after all, we often have good reasons to lie: It is better for morale if our people don’t know the truth. We don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. We are good people and we deserve what we want and need. We deserve the recognition. And so on and so forth.
Nothing erodes an organization like lies. If you want to disengage people, tell them lies. If you want to ensure that cynicism and distrust flourish in your organization, tell lies. If you want to ensure that people are not giving you their best effort and working hard to ensure your organization thrives, tell them lies. If you want people to leave, tell them lies. And make no mistake: You don’t have to tell big lies. Small lies will suffice.
In my work over the years, I have had the fortune to have generally worked with good people. Some were truly rotten, but most were just like you and me. They came to work and did the best they could. However, they all told lies in one way or another. And these mostly small lies added up in their organizations. Sometimes, even things we don’t often think of as lies are indeed lies. Not giving effective and honest feedback is a lie. Promoting people who aren’t deserving is a lie. Not recognizing or diminishing good work is a lie. Stealing other people’s ideas without crediting them is a lie. Not being transparent about organizational decision-making is a lie. And if you think no one is looking or no one knows? Think again. Your people are always looking, and they usually know.
It is easy to see how these little lies cause harm. It is easy to pull the thread on any one of them and see the concentric rings of harm that ripple out from them, damaging you and your organization and destroying trust and credibility. Added up, they can cause irrevocable harm. As they say, trust takes a long time to build and can be wiped out in a second. And trust is all you have in your organization. When people don’t trust you, you have nothing.
The worst thing you can do as a leader is to lie. Avoid doing so at all costs.
